A LOVE LETTER TO IN AND OUT, PART 1

so following a few brief trysts with chicken i decided to officially renounce my nine-months-long vegetarianism last week, and to celebrate the matter i went and got myself a double double from in and out.

it honestly felt like my mouth was having sex with jesus.

seriously guys. either in and out sprinkles its burgers with crack or the divine spirit is nestled between those two toasty buns, joyfully frollicking amongst the cheese and special sauce and then making out with me every time i take a bite of that meaty deliciousness.

i really hope it's the latter, because if they're putting crack in their burgers then eventually someone has to find out and i'll have to start doing crack for reals and betray the wisdom of my longtime idol whitney houston.



that's jesus by the way, not devendra bernhart.

-- lucy

Peti in all her Glory Part Deux

So today I decided to make pasta carbonara. I'm not one to follow recipes, so I made this up all on my own. I made the pasta and sauce as usual but I  put it into little glass ramekins and cracked an egg on the top, it smelled fantastic! I wasn't hungry so I didn't try it, but the small latin  mustached man who lives in my house (my father) was eyeing it.

Might I mention that this whole cooking for fun-sies business was done to " Jigsaw Falling into Place" by Radiohead

Everybody, listen to this song!

there was some definite dancing and singing involved...

Peti in all her Glory

No this isn't Lucy Master Chef, or Nikki Queen of Easter, nonetheless I decided it was time I write on this blog. Last friday I decided it would be a good idea to get extremely intoxicated and pass out in my parents car. Not before I lay face down in my friends crotch for about a half hour, vomited in a baking pan, and thanked my caretaker, who I thought was my friend reed, but who was actually Val(keep in mind that reed is a white male of average height, and Val is a hispanic male-giant). Not that I remember any of this, needless to say I'm now grounded until the end of the school year...

So to keep from going all Boo Radley and such, I decided to come up with some constructive things to do while I serve my time.

1. Write on this blog

2. Follow Lucy "master chef" footsteps and make a delectable dish

And 

3. I cant really think of anything else, but at least I have three weeks to think of something

SOME FUN THINGS TO DO ON A SUNDAY, PT I

1. listen to "how's it going to be" by third eye blind

this was going to be a list until i realized that nothing is even on the same level as sitting in your pajamas, playing air drums and half-singing-half-screaming "HOWWWWS IT GOING TO BEEEE WHEN YOU DONT KNOW MEEEEE ANYMOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAREEEEEE"

in the immortal words of stephan jenkins, i've never been so alone, and i've never been so alive.

lucy blagg: the unofficial "fifth member" of third eye blind

-- lucy

THAT'S NOT A CHEF...THAT'S AN ACROBAT.

garlic linguine in homemade pomodoro sauce with scallops and parmigiano-reggiano

-- lucy

FML

i just finished an essay on goddamn rhetorical strategies and now i can't sleep because i drank a cup of oolong tea with TWO TEABAGS INSIDE IT.

and if anyone tries to turn that into a dirty joke i will possibly murder you. and when i say possibly, i mean definitely.

i mean, seriousy guys. rhetorical strategies? i don't care. when i'm an adult, i'm not going to pick up my copy of the new yorker, read some article about australian aborigines and go "hey, you know what, this is really appealing to my sense of pathos right now. sly move, dude with a phD, but i've had this shit on lock since my junior year of high school. are you trying to get down with some logos right now? are you? man, i will tear your shit UP."

i should've just titled the paper, "RHETORICAL STRATEGIES: WHO GIVES A FUCK?"

-- lucy

WOW, I CAN GET SEXUAL TOO

MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL IN THE ROOM

HUEVOS RANCHEROS ARE FOR VAQUEROS

huevos rancheros and black beans in tortilla cups

By the way, the title for this translates to "Huevos rancheros are for cowboys."

-- Lucy

VIDEOS AND THINGS

dude
1. i have the same glasses as the not-main dude of wavves. i am pretty sure that this will get me famous some place on the internet.

2. how awkward do all those dancing people look at the end of part 2? i never knew that's how i look when unrhythmically jerking around and simultaneously trying to avoid getting all up in other people's business.

-- lucy

SATAN'S IDEA OF A SCHEDULE

This is the weekend from HELL:
FRIDAY (I did all this today)
-AP Bio Study Sesh 8:30am - 10:30am
-AP Language and Composition Study Sesh 11am - 1pm
-SAT Tutoring 2pm - 5pm
-Come home and recharge internal battery for the next day, upon orders for Satan's right hand man, my father
SATURDAY
-Actual SAT that I will most likely bomb
-AP Art History Study Sesh 2pm - 4pm
-Finally get a cell phone after the unfortunate incident in which I dropped my previous phone in the toilet...twice...causing it to, well, die
-See The Shins with Lucy 8pm - WHOKNOWSBUTWHOCARESBECAUSEIT'STHESHINS

And then Sunday is the day of rest. It was for God and it is for me. Except I have to re-film an interview with my friend Amanda because I LOST MY CAMERA AT SCHOOL. That's another thing. When the FUCK am I going to get my shit together? I think my tendencies to lose or break shit will stick with me forever. No matter how hard I try, something unfortunate happens. This Flip Camera that my JOB gave me, IS NOT EVEN MINE. I did not PAY FOR IT. FOX Studios SENT IT TO ME TO USE RESPONSIBLY. And what do I do? I fucking lose it. Oh, and what made things even better? This assignment that I did the interview for? DUE TODAY. Luckily, I just got an email telling me that the deadline was extended to Monday. Which would be good.
IF I HAD THE CAMERA.

Life is stressful right now. Summer is so close. Yet so so so so SO far.