MORTALS CAN'T FLY

A LOVE LETTER TO IN AND OUT, PART 1

2009-05-21T15:57:00.000-07:00

so following a few brief trysts with chicken i decided to officially renounce my nine-months-long vegetarianism last week, and to celebrate the matter i went and got myself a double double from in and out.

it honestly felt like my mouth was having sex with jesus.

seriously guys. either in and out sprinkles its burgers with crack or the divine spirit is nestled between those two toasty buns, joyfully frollicking amongst the cheese and special sauce and then making out with me every time i take a bite of that meaty deliciousness.

i really hope it's the latter, because if they're putting crack in their burgers then eventually someone has to find out and i'll have to start doing crack for reals and betray the wisdom of my longtime idol whitney houston.

that's jesus by the way, not devendra bernhart.

-- lucy

Peti in all her Glory Part Deux

2009-05-12T19:58:00.000-07:00

So today I decided to make pasta carbonara. I'm not one to follow recipes, so I made this up all on my own. I made the pasta and sauce as usual but I put it into little glass ramekins and cracked an egg on the top, it smelled fantastic! I wasn't hungry so I didn't try it, but the small latin mustached man who lives in my house (my father) was eyeing it.

Might I mention that this whole cooking for fun-sies business was done to " Jigsaw Falling into Place" by Radiohead

Everybody, listen to this song!

there was some definite dancing and singing involved...

Peti in all her Glory

2009-05-12T18:03:00.000-07:00

No this isn't Lucy Master Chef, or Nikki Queen of Easter, nonetheless I decided it was time I write on this blog. Last friday I decided it would be a good idea to get extremely intoxicated and pass out in my parents car. Not before I lay face down in my friends crotch for about a half hour, vomited in a baking pan, and thanked my caretaker, who I thought was my friend reed, but who was actually Val(keep in mind that reed is a white male of average height, and Val is a hispanic male-giant). Not that I remember any of this, needless to say I'm now grounded until the end of the school year...

So to keep from going all Boo Radley and such, I decided to come up with some constructive things to do while I serve my time.

1. Write on this blog

2. Follow Lucy "master chef" footsteps and make a delectable dish

And

3. I cant really think of anything else, but at least I have three weeks to think of something

SOME FUN THINGS TO DO ON A SUNDAY, PT I

2009-05-10T13:28:00.000-07:00

listen to "how's it going to be" by third eye blind

this was going to be a list until i realized that nothing is even on the same level as sitting in your pajamas, playing air drums and half-singing-half-screaming "HOWWWWS IT GOING TO BEEEE WHEN YOU DONT KNOW MEEEEE ANYMOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAREEEEEE"

in the immortal words of stephan jenkins, i've never been so alone, and i've never been so alive.

lucy blagg: the unofficial "fifth member" of third eye blind

-- lucy

THAT'S NOT A CHEF...THAT'S AN ACROBAT.

2009-05-07T19:41:00.000-07:00

garlic linguine in homemade pomodoro sauce with scallops and parmigiano-reggiano

-- lucy

FML

2009-05-05T00:00:00.000-07:00

i just finished an essay on goddamn rhetorical strategies and now i can't sleep because i drank a cup of oolong tea with TWO TEABAGS INSIDE IT.

and if anyone tries to turn that into a dirty joke i will possibly murder you. and when i say possibly, i mean definitely.

i mean, seriousy guys. rhetorical strategies? i don't care. when i'm an adult, i'm not going to pick up my copy of the new yorker, read some article about australian aborigines and go "hey, you know what, this is really appealing to my sense of pathos right now. sly move, dude with a phD, but i've had this shit on lock since my junior year of high school. are you trying to get down with some logos right now? are you? man, i will tear your shit UP."

i should've just titled the paper, "RHETORICAL STRATEGIES: WHO GIVES A FUCK?"

-- lucy

WOW, I CAN GET SEXUAL TOO

2009-05-04T17:24:00.000-07:00

MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL IN THE ROOM

2009-05-04T16:47:00.000-07:00

HUEVOS RANCHEROS ARE FOR VAQUEROS

2009-05-02T17:17:00.000-07:00

huevos rancheros and black beans in tortilla cups

By the way, the title for this translates to "Huevos rancheros are for cowboys."

-- Lucy

VIDEOS AND THINGS

2009-05-01T20:36:00.000-07:00

dude
1. i have the same glasses as the not-main dude of wavves. i am pretty sure that this will get me famous some place on the internet.

2. how awkward do all those dancing people look at the end of part 2? i never knew that's how i look when unrhythmically jerking around and simultaneously trying to avoid getting all up in other people's business.

-- lucy

SATAN'S IDEA OF A SCHEDULE

2009-05-01T17:11:00.000-07:00

This is the weekend from HELL:
FRIDAY (I did all this today)
-AP Bio Study Sesh 8:30am - 10:30am
-AP Language and Composition Study Sesh 11am - 1pm
-SAT Tutoring 2pm - 5pm
-Come home and recharge internal battery for the next day, upon orders for Satan's right hand man, my father
SATURDAY
-Actual SAT that I will most likely bomb
-AP Art History Study Sesh 2pm - 4pm
-Finally get a cell phone after the unfortunate incident in which I dropped my previous phone in the toilet...twice...causing it to, well, die
-See The Shins with Lucy 8pm - WHOKNOWSBUTWHOCARESBECAUSEIT'STHESHINS

And then Sunday is the day of rest. It was for God and it is for me. Except I have to re-film an interview with my friend Amanda because I LOST MY CAMERA AT SCHOOL. That's another thing. When the FUCK am I going to get my shit together? I think my tendencies to lose or break shit will stick with me forever. No matter how hard I try, something unfortunate happens. This Flip Camera that my JOB gave me, IS NOT EVEN MINE. I did not PAY FOR IT. FOX Studios SENT IT TO ME TO USE RESPONSIBLY. And what do I do? I fucking lose it. Oh, and what made things even better? This assignment that I did the interview for? DUE TODAY. Luckily, I just got an email telling me that the deadline was extended to Monday. Which would be good.
IF I HAD THE CAMERA.

Life is stressful right now. Summer is so close. Yet so so so so SO far.

2009-04-29T21:51:00.000-07:00

So uh we've been working on this show for a while now. HBO's trying to keep it on the DL because they're apprehensive about the public's opinion, but I think the world has the right to know.

-- Lucy

TEENS TAKIN IT TO THE STREETS

2009-04-29T21:18:00.000-07:00

Today I was TAKING BACK THE NIGHT from rapists and drug dealers and all sorts of assailants. This fine young lady givin a speech is in my AP US History class. Awwwwww shiyetttttt.

--Lucy

KEEPIN IT ON THE REALSIES

2009-04-24T21:12:00.000-07:00

Sittin' at home, sippin' on smartwater and youtubing whatever crosses my mind.

Is this the life I am destined to lead? I could be DOING things right now. I could be writing a movie right now or painting my Mona Lisa or writing some abstract poems about oranges.

But I sit here, with my pants unbuttoned and my stomach full of udon noodles, listening to this song on repeat and looking through the Facebook photo albums of people I don't even know.

Somewhat ironically, it's times like these when I start to really reevaluate shit. I don't care if I'm so drunk I can't walk or if I'm hotboxing Nikki's car; those are moments to be treasured and looked upon with fondness and nostalgia in my later years, when I am wrinkly and likely to have a slightly fuzzy chin. It's nights like this -- at home at nine thirty, chillin my deceased grandpa's finest cashmere sweater -- that I feel I am most wasting my life away.

Man, I really wish I just had unlimited amounts of money. Then I could give a lot of it away and feel like I've done a Meaningful Thing and not feel guilty for spending most of my night photoshopping my face into the Flight of the Conchords poster.

-- Lucy

DJ ATROCITY

2009-04-22T23:00:00.000-07:00

HI BITCHES & HOES
I'm PLEE and I'm a tiny obnoxious little A Z N as you can tell from my "hello".
harhar JUST KIDDING
I am.....normal just like these two lovely lady nuts down here. And when I say down here, I mean down here. If you know what I mean. So Nikki B, who I also refer to as Nikkiddy Baroongooston (because thats definitely how you pronounce it in Japanese), told me about this blog and said I can write in this blog as well.
This was the convo:
NIKKI: If you want, you can write in the blog too
PLEE: Hell yeah, actually, i am.
NIKKI: Good
PLEE: GIVE ME the username and pass
RIGHT NOW
......
GIVE IT TO ME BABY

She totally ignored my last reply. and I really don't know why. Do you?

I am.....excited. ( HE HE )

--P Lee aka DJ Atrocity

LADY CRAZY

2009-04-22T21:38:00.000-07:00

This photograph genuinely scared the shit out of me. Lady Gaga looks like an alien from another planet that has taken a liking to dolls so much that she has made the decision to transform herself into a live-size one. Her right eye looks abnormally...large here, as well. I am concerned that the business she is doing with her lipstick is going to give our nation's youth too many ideas...their minds are so malleable, so eager to learn...
All I'm saying is that I'm worried.

--Nikki

PASTA? YOU GOTSTA

2009-04-22T20:53:00.000-07:00

penne pasta in a almond-garlic sauce with peas, parmigiano-reggiano, basil and mint

I found this recipe on gourmet.com and decided that because I myself am a gourmet chef I should try it out. The first order of business was learning how to cook pasta and once I got past that there was a multitude of near-disasters. I somehow managed to open the bag of frozen peas in a way that it exploded all over the closet-sized kitchen, showering myself and the counters in tiny green pellets of fury. I felt like I was in a hailstorm.

Despite all the trauma, the pasta was very good and popular with everyone, and when I say "everyone" I mean "me and my mom" because we are the only people who ate it since we are the only people who live in this apartment.

Right.

-- Lucy

ORLY OWL vs ORLY PPL

2009-04-22T20:36:00.000-07:00

AMANDA: O RLY?

ORLY OWL: O RLY?

AMANDA: YES RLY!

The resemblance is STRIKING. If only her mouth were open...(that's what he said). The picture of the lovely lady above is our good friend Amanda. That picture of her is my wallpaper on my school computer.

--Nikki

HOUSE RITUALS

2009-04-22T20:32:00.000-07:00

We are normal.

--Nikki & Lucy

SALMON FILLET HOORAY

2009-04-21T22:54:00.000-07:00

salmon burgers in a honey mustard soy sauce

I made this yesterday. I made it with my own two hands. The Master Chef II strikes again.

-- Lucy

CHAOS CHAOS

2009-04-21T17:11:00.000-07:00

This is a blog about winning.
Winning in camaraderie.
Winning in being awesome.
Winning in life in general.

This blog is the holy recordings of our shenanigans as reckless teenagers.
Drink it in, world. Drink. It. In.

As of right now, Amanda, Lucy, and myself, are huddled in Lucy's igloo, (she's Canadian), hiding from the intolerable heat. Today was a bad day for milk, if you know what I mean. SO hot.
Amanda and Lucy are birthday buddies and planning a party as I type; they were both born on the 27th of April, the doomsday of the year. They think they're so COOL because they are born on the same day. Pshhhttt. I beg to differ. This party in the works will include lots of alcohol. Sweet, sweet alcohol. People WILL be intoxicated, myself being one of them.

-- Nikki